Saturday
Monday
Funny quotes 8
Two things are infinite:the universe and human stupidity;and I'm not sure about the Universe!
I want to know God's thoughts...the rest are details.
I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one.
Better is the enemy of good.
Business is the salt of life.
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I want to know God's thoughts...the rest are details.
I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one.
Better is the enemy of good.
Business is the salt of life.
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Funny quotes 7
The best time to make friends is before you need them.
Today I dialed a wrong number… The other person said, “Hello?” and I said,”Hello, could I speak to Joey?”… They said, “Uh… I don’t think so… he’s only 2 months old.” I said, “I’ll wait.”
I saw a bank that said “24 Hour Banking”, but I don’t have that much time.
You have a right to your opinions. I just don't want to hear them.
Police Station toilet stolen....Cops have nothing to go on.
Today I dialed a wrong number… The other person said, “Hello?” and I said,”Hello, could I speak to Joey?”… They said, “Uh… I don’t think so… he’s only 2 months old.” I said, “I’ll wait.”
I saw a bank that said “24 Hour Banking”, but I don’t have that much time.
You have a right to your opinions. I just don't want to hear them.
Police Station toilet stolen....Cops have nothing to go on.
Saturday
Funny quotes 6
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Money is not everything. There's MasterCard & Visa.
Save water. Shower with your girl friend!
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane!
Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.
Money is not everything. There's MasterCard & Visa.
Save water. Shower with your girl friend!
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane!
Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.
Friday
Funny quotes 5
Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
A diplomat is one who thinks twice before saying nothing.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Funny quotes 4
I hate women because they always know where things are.
History is only the register of crimes and misfortunes.
The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
You have a right to your opinions. I just don't want to hear them.
Thursday
Funny quotes 3
Why be difficult when with a bit of effort you can be impossible?
If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.
There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back.
Funny quotes 2
My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.
A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.
Looking good and dressing well is a necessity. Having a purpose in life is not.
Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do.
Funny quotes 1
You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes. You will learn a lot today.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
If God only gave me a clear sign, like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Do not take life too seriously; you will never get out of it alive.
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